Things heard on the job

Thanks to the Burned Out Medic for triggering another thought stream in my head. Here are some things I've heard on the job, in random order. Many of these I would prefer to never hear again.
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OK folks, as soon as we move Charlie onto the backboard, I'd like to get a little extra help in locating his hand. It's got to be around here somewhere.
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 Chief, I think we're going to need a lot more tankers.
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RESPONDER #1: OK, it's your call, how do you want to get this guy out?
RESPONDER #2: What are the options?
RESPONDER #1: By Boat, 15 to 30 minutes; By chopper 20 minutes, plus rigging time; By foot, 40 minutes; or by Six-Wheeler and chainsaw, which is enroute now, about 20 minutes.
RESPONDER #2: Let's go with the Six-Wheeler, can we get TWO chainsaws working?
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RESPONDER #1: Could you move your left foot?
RESPONDER #2: Why? I'm working here.
RESPONDER #1: You're standing on another body.
RESPONDER #2: Cripes! How many people were in this car?
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Chief, have we had any luck identifying the green liquid coming out of this building? It's been and hour since we've been working this fire and it's still flowing out. Some of the crews are getting nauseous.
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We can't do the recovery until the investigators get in there and map everything out.
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RESPONDER #1: Wow, that's a lot of blood, what do you make it to be, about a liter?
RESPONDER #2: I think it's closer to 2 liters at this point. Ready? One, Two, THREE.......
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MAYDAY-MAYDAY-MAYDAY
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DISPATCH TO CAR ONE: Chief, we just got in touch with the property owner, he  advises us that there is an unknown quantity of explosives stored in that building.
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 RESPONDER : He fell from up THERE? And yet he's conscious?
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MAN, That's a BIG hornet's nest!
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DISTRAUGHT TAXPAYER: I'll have your JOB!
LINE OFFICER: Ma'am, we're volunteers, just here to help you. We got the water out of your basement, but we aren't qualified to restart your furnace.
DISTRAUGHT TAXPAYER: Yes, you CAN. Now finish the job!
LINE OFFICER: Ma'am, you need to call your Oil company. Your furnace was under 2 feet of water and it will need a lot of work.
DISTRAUGHT TAXPAYER: I'll have your JOB!
LINE OFFICER: Ma'am, at this hour of the morning, and after doing 8 basement pumps, You can HAVE my job.
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What do you mean, you can't find the driver? SOMEBODY rolled this truck over!
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Hey, doesn't that chimney look like it's leaning away from the house?
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FIRST DUE OFFICER TO DISPATCH: We've got at least 7 patients, but we're not done counting yet. Please give me at least 2 more ALS units and a 2nd alarm for EMT's to the scene.
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STOP! I think I feel a pulse! Yeah, look at the monitor!
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Hey man, you don't look so good.
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TAXPAYER: Did you really NEED to bring all these trucks and people?
CHIEF: Yes sir, we do.
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 I love this job!
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I hate this job!
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 Wow, I never thought you could actually crack a fire helmet like that!
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DISTRAUGHT TAXPAYER: I want to talk to your Chief!
CHIEF: Ma'am, I AM the Chief.
DISTRAUGHT TAXPAYER: Not YOU, I mean the BIG Chief, let me talk to him.
CHIEF: Ma'am, I may not be very tall, but I am the biggest Chief we have and I am STILL not going to let you back into that house.
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Man, you got enough sheet rock on your helmet to build a wall!
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I HATE it when my gloves freeze solid.
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One thing I've learned on this job is that you will never live long enough to hear it all, or see it all.
UU